I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
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I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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