My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
