HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
