I haven't been this sober since birth.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize