so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
