My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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