I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think my vagina is haunted
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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