I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
