M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hippo gnu deer
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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