after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
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Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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