Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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