Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
