hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
