Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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