THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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