i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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