i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
