Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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