sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
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You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
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I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize