I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
