How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
