apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
