haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it's like heaven, but drunker
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
