Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
