So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
