WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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