Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
