you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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