i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
