you traded sex for a burrito?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
