you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
