i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
