Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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