True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You've changed since you got that strap on
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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