Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
