batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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