Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
