so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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