worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
