im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
