i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
