I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
