It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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