You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*