Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions