dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
