i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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