Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
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He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
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I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize