Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
