I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
