If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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