she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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