i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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