so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize