It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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