he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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