There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
