Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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