My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize