You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
