Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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